Though I was doing my best to give passengers room to exit the train, I was hopelessly in the way. On some mornings, it's impossible to stand on the train and not be in the way. Everyone scrambles toward the open doors, as if departing this train, right now — right now! — means the world. The world. I think it's because I hate this, that I try to do the opposite. When it's my turn to depart, I move carefully and slowly, perhaps in some futile attempt to show others how gracefully done it can be. Fellow passengers, there is another way. Watch as I move through these doors with such ease and finesse.
While being pushed, several seemingly unrelated things traveled through my noggin.
First of all, I was singing Snow's 1993 pop masterpiece, "Informer." Don't ask me why. It had been years since I'd even thought of "Informer." Yet, there it was, in all its wack-ass glory, having shuffled itself into the iPod of my mind. Strangest part of all is that I don't even know the words to "Informer." There I stood, being pushed this way and that, singing, "Infahma, dee bititty bop bee doo bee da dee day. A licky boom boom down."
Second, I wondered about the young couple sitting below me. Had they just met, or were they the owners of many celebrated years together? They held hands with passion, yet sat so comfortably.
Third, I cursed at the people who pushed me.
Fourth, I considered a few of the things I'd rather be doing, in places I'd rather be, instead of being pushed on this train, right now. Among these things and places were: swinging on a hammock in Veracruz, Mexico; sitting beneath a eucalyptus tree in San Francisco, California; falling down a snowy hill in Hunter Mountain, New York; drinking shochu in Kyushu, Japan.
Fifth, I thought of Jon Iverson looking out from his office window, enjoying a view of lush green valley oak.
This is all true.
I got off the train — carefully, slowly, with grace and finesse — and made my way into the office, still singing "Informer." At my desk, in my inbox, I found an e-mail from Wes Phillips. "Teaspoon slide" is all it said. Here is what was inside:
