Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl fall in love.
Boy and girl live happily ever after. This is the traditional fairytale romance we've all been spoon-fed from birth. You know, Disney, unicorns, white picket fences, medieval castles, Ryan Gosling, etc, etc. There are many variations, but each one essentially tells the same story. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, reality often falls quite short of fairytale, and very rarely is one story identical to the next. Modern romance is often more like this:
Boy meets girl (one of many) online.
Boy asks girl out on a date.
Girl graciously accepts boy's invitation.
Girl enters the date hopefully, but realistically, and without any preconceived notions.
Boy, on the other hand, enters the date with a single desire: to get laid (footnote 1). The cycle of dates perpetuates. Some end in physical intimacy (to varying degrees), while others do not. The ones that do not may be revisited in the future (with varying outcomes), or not at all (also to varying degrees). There are infinite possibilities. The outcome is not as important as the chain of events leading up to the outcome. And the chain of events is not as important as the inexplicable inner complexities of the female mind. Her decision to participate, or not, in intimate physical acts with the boy can be attributed to: her current state of romantic affairs; her predisposition towards blondes rather than brunettes; her indescribable desire for "more"; and so on and so forth. Will the world ever really know?
Let's apply everything we learned above to the fascinating industry of hi-fi reviews. Following this primitive logic, Boy = Manufacturer or PR Rep; Girl = Reviewer (footnote 2); Physical Intimacy (to varying degrees) = Review (also to varying degrees); and Date = Wining and Dining.
Let me address a few things:
And 2) A reviewer's main allegiance should always lie with the readers (footnote 3). No, not the advertisers, not the manufacturers, and not even the chivalrous Michelin-starred-restaurant-takers.
Hi-Fi reviewing certainly has the potential to be as beautiful as true love. Modern romance, too, has the potential to be as simple as a traditional fairy-tale romance. All it requires is an ethical gentleman who understands his limitations, and a classy woman who understands her worth. Let's try to keep it that way.
Epilogue: I am not yet a reviewer, nor do I pretend to understand what it's like to be one. The general concept is inspired by a few first-hand interactions, but the rest are just my humble musings from various "behind-the-scenes" witnessings.—Jana Dagdagan
Footnote 1: This is not to say that the boy is not a gentleman. He very well could be. Regardless of how chivalrous he is, the boy in this scenario is still fixated on the end game. Keep reading. Footnote 2: Oh, the irony. Footnote 3: Without readers, our entire industry would collapse. Thus, it makes perfect sense that readers are the body. Readers must be respected with total honesty. Breaching the trust of a reader is as fatal as breaching the rights of a fellow human being. It is, indeed, that serious.
Boy and girl fall in love.
Boy and girl live happily ever after. This is the traditional fairytale romance we've all been spoon-fed from birth. You know, Disney, unicorns, white picket fences, medieval castles, Ryan Gosling, etc, etc. There are many variations, but each one essentially tells the same story. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, reality often falls quite short of fairytale, and very rarely is one story identical to the next. Modern romance is often more like this:
Boy asks girl out on a date.
Girl graciously accepts boy's invitation.
Girl enters the date hopefully, but realistically, and without any preconceived notions.
Boy, on the other hand, enters the date with a single desire: to get laid (footnote 1). The cycle of dates perpetuates. Some end in physical intimacy (to varying degrees), while others do not. The ones that do not may be revisited in the future (with varying outcomes), or not at all (also to varying degrees). There are infinite possibilities. The outcome is not as important as the chain of events leading up to the outcome. And the chain of events is not as important as the inexplicable inner complexities of the female mind. Her decision to participate, or not, in intimate physical acts with the boy can be attributed to: her current state of romantic affairs; her predisposition towards blondes rather than brunettes; her indescribable desire for "more"; and so on and so forth. Will the world ever really know?
- The boy could be a perfect gentleman: the splitting image of James Dean, the prized bachelor of the century, the perfect lover written into the world by Jane Austen herself. Sadly, that could still mean nothing to the girl.
- The dinners could all be at Michelin 3-starred restaurants with all of her favorite foods. The girl wants to be impressed. She wants to fall in love, to be swept off her feet, to ride off into the sunset with her Prince Charming. She appreciates the meals, the attention, and the chivalry. But that doesn't guarantee that she'll sleep with him.
- And even if the date does go well, hell!—even if the next 500 dates go well, even that doesn't guarantee that she'll love him unconditionally forever.
- If a manufacturer will stop at nothing for a positive review, what is that equivalent to in our former analogy? Worst-case scenario: the manufacturer is a violator or the reviewer is a prostitute. Best-case scenario: the review is falsely contrived and fools no one. (If you can believe it, I'm generally a decent human being, but I'm busy being Palahniuk right now, and so should you.)
- If a manufacturer expects every reviewer in the world to produce a positive review and can't take "no" or a slightly critical review for an answer, he's a weak, misogynistic, self-centered pig. None of us are beautiful, unique snowflakes, okay?
Footnote 1: This is not to say that the boy is not a gentleman. He very well could be. Regardless of how chivalrous he is, the boy in this scenario is still fixated on the end game. Keep reading. Footnote 2: Oh, the irony. Footnote 3: Without readers, our entire industry would collapse. Thus, it makes perfect sense that readers are the body. Readers must be respected with total honesty. Breaching the trust of a reader is as fatal as breaching the rights of a fellow human being. It is, indeed, that serious.
