Something has got me pretty worked up - to the point that I get so enraged I look like a bloke with his underpants and surrounding airspace filled with wasps. This obsession with vowels used at the beginning of every word now in web technology or portable devices and now musical equipment.

I went to a website that asked me for my "e-customer-opinions" ...What the "e-F**K" has happened to the e-language?



What about the other vowels like "a", "u" and "o"? ...why not add...

a-hole

o-cock

u-f**k

u-tosser

Am I going to awake one morning to turn on my "e-amplifier" and my virtual source called an "i-turntable"?  I'd rather contract rampaging syphilis than be in a world where everything we make or do has to begin with "i" or "e" for the benefit of ignominious techie-nerdy-geeky-sad-girlfriendless-bottom-feeders and marketing arty-fartys.

This cancer is beginning to spread into everything. I'd like to get these people and wrap my  "i-fingers" around their "e- oesophagus" and use my "i-muscles" to "e-squeeze" very hard until the snivelling "a-hole" rapidly goes through all the colours of the rainbow before "e-passing out".

DONT let this happen to hi-fi