My Chemical Romance

"I was at Maxwell's last night for no more than three hours, and it made me terribly sick."
"What’s Maxwell's?" JA asks.
"Oh," I say, "It's a rock and roll club in Jersey."
"Thank you for assuming that I'm hip."
I laugh. "I’ve become so allergic to cigarette smoke. I woke up this morning coughing blood, and I've got a horrible headache now."
"You must have some insect genes."

This is not an atypical JA response. He's sometimes very good at baffling. I wait for him to continue.

"You know," he continues, "because tobacco plants give off a chemical which kills the insects that might eat them."
"Oh," I nod.
JA reads my confusion and turns to Elizabeth, "And he's pretty tall."
Again, I'm baffled, but Elizabeth is right on cue and agrees: "Yes, like a praying mantis."
"Like a praying mantis?" I wonder.
"Oh," JA goes on, "but we wouldn't want him to be a praying mantis, because you know what happens to the male praying mantis."
Together, they laugh.

I rub my head, "Thanks guys, but we don't have to worry about that."
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement