Change "mansion" to "single wide" and "private neighborhood" to "trailer park. Switch "Escalade" to "pick up truck," then "golf club" to "baseball bat" and you could have a new Carrie Underwood song on your hands!
The chicks he cheated with were cocktail/bar employees to begin with, so you don't even need to change that part!
I smell a 'hit' song!
"Right now he probably thinks he's slow dancing
With that bleached-blond paramedic
And he thinks she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's saying he'll buy
Her some Cristal champagne
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now, he's probably trying to get up behind her
With a putter
Showing her how to hold the shaft
And he don't know
I drove an iron through the back the shade
Of his pretty little souped-up Escalade
Scratched my name in both his cheeks
I took a Nike driver to both head lights
Knocked that swoosh right off his chest
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now, Jaimee's probably up singing some
White-trash version of a Lewinski karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm the victim"
And she's a thinking that she's gonna get rich
Right now, she's probably dabbing on 300 dollars
Worth of that Paris Hilton cologne
Oh and she don't quite get
That I slammed a wedge and broke the charade
Of Tiger's "family man" image Escalade
Bashed my name into his lips
and took a Callaway Driver to both his eyes
Slashed a divot into his hair
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me
'Cause I took a whack
At his Cadillac
Knocked my name into his scalp
Took a Ping to his mouth as he cried for help
Gave the bastard two black eyes
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh
Change "mansion" to "single wide" and "private neighborhood" to "trailer park. Switch "Escalade" to "pick up truck," then "golf club" to "baseball bat" and you could have a new Carrie Underwood song on your hands!
The chicks he cheated with were cocktail/bar employees to begin with, so you don't even need to change that part!
I smell a 'hit' song!
"Right now he probably thinks he's slow dancing
With that bleached-blond paramedic
And he thinks she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's saying he'll buy
Her some Cristal champagne
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now, he's probably trying to get up behind her
With a putter
Showing her how to hold the shaft
And he don't know
I drove an iron through the back the shade
Of his pretty little souped-up Escalade
Scratched my name in both his cheeks
I took a Nike driver to both head lights
Knocked that swoosh right off his chest
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now, Jaimee's probably up singing some
White-trash version of a Lewinski karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm the victim"
And she's a thinking that she's gonna get rich
Right now, she's probably dabbing on 300 dollars
Worth of that Paris Hilton cologne
Oh and she don't quite get
That I slammed a wedge and broke the charade
Of Tiger's "family man" image Escalade
Bashed my name into his lips
and took a Callaway Driver to both his eyes
Slashed a divot into his hair
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me
'Cause I took a whack
At his Cadillac
Knocked my name into his scalp
Took a Ping to his mouth as he cried for help
Gave the bastard two black eyes
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh