On Your Way to Bay Ridge

The PATH train ride from Grove Street in downtown Jersey City to Church Street in lower Manhattan takes about seven minutes, maybe less, and offers a chilling tour of Ground Zero. For just a dollar-fifty, you get a Disney-like theme park stroll through a chalky gray wasteland that'll have you wondering why no real memorial exists.

Plant a tree, for fuck's sake. Lay down some sod. Something.

Something.

Once you arrive, you'll be rushed out onto an unusually clean platform. The word "clinical" might come to mind. You'll climb hundreds of steps before you reach street-level, where the cleanliness comes to an abrupt end, hastily-placed plastic buckets capturing countless streams of dirty water and other things. None of this matters much, however. If you follow the Exit signs and turn left when you're out on Church Street, you'll be heading north. If you make a right at Vesey Street, you'll get to admire St. Paul's Chapel and its wonderful, old cemetery, where you once held tight to a girl who was promised to someone else, and you kissed her and you kissed her and you kissed her&#151passionately, desperately, with all sorts of hope and fear and sadness. You might have cried. Before you know it, despite the cold and harsh winds, you'll hit Broadway. Make a left and you'll be heading north again. This stretch is also known as the Canyon of Heroes, where the City holds its ticker-tape parades. Look down and you'll see black granite strips spanning the sidewalk, memorializing parade honorees. If you see the 1986 World Champion Mets, you'll know you're going in the right direction.

Continue on until you hit Murray Street. Look up! There it is: the building with all of the gray and blue windows&#151just like in the Sonic Youth album. Smile at that. A plane engine landed somewhere around here. Think about that. Hum the melody from "Sympathy for the Strawberry," and walk down the steps to the R train on your way to Bay Ridge.
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