Stew Glick

So you've spent thousands (hours, that is...in terms of dollars, don't ask!) trying to improve the sound of your stereo, and you're <I>still</I> dissatisfied. Here's a list of sure-fire steps which, if followed precisely, will without a doubt have you happy as a lark for days afterward. (What? You expected to be happy with these improvements for <I>months</I> or even <I>years</I>? Get with it! This is high-end audio we're talking about. When was the last time you were satisfied more than a few <I>hours</I> with your costly upgrades?!)

Do you suffer from <I>Audiophilia nervosa</I>, that dreaded disease afflicting long-time readers of <I>Stereophile</I>, <I>The Abso!ute Sound</I>, <I>Hi-Fi News & Record Review</I>, and various other sordid high-end rags? Well, take heart, my friends---relief is on the way. But before treatment can begin, as with all illnesses, proper diagnosis is of paramount importance. To help facilitate this, I have compiled a set of multiple-choice questions. Please take the time to read through these carefully, and jot down your best-guess response from the choices below. You really should use a #2 pencil, as the lead in a #2 is bound to give you the smoothest response, with the least amount of writer's fatigue, allowing the letters to flow effortlessly from the first movement of your hand to the last.